Plates · 174 × 122
i-this-is-my-man
THIS IS MY MAN — Plate I, a specimen plate of the human, filed by the cat
The plate
Fig. 1174 across, 122 down.
The grid itself
+---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'+ | | | _____ _ _ ___ ___ ___ ___ __ ____ __ __ __ _ _ _ INSTITVTE OF DOMESTIC OBSERVATION . PLATE I . SHEET 1 OF 1 | | |_ _| || |_ _/ __| |_ _/ __| | \/ \ \ / / | \/ | /_\ | \| | ORDER: unfurred bipeds. CLASS: keepers, self-appointed. | | | | | __ || |\__ \ | |\__ \ | |\/| |\ V / | |\/| |/ _ \| .` | SPECIMEN: adult male. kept indoors. warm. slow. easily startled. | | |_| |_||_|___|___/ |___|___/ |_| |_| |_| |_| |_/_/ \_\_|\_| OBSERVER: one resident. nocturnal. unsalaried. present at all hours. | | DRAWN FROM LIFE. HE DID NOT NOTICE. | +==[ FIG. 1 . THE SUBJECT, SEATED, AT THE ONLY GAME HE PLAYS ]===============================================================================================================+ | | | | | _,.--~~~~~~~~~~~~--.,_ | | _,-~' '~-,_ | | NO FUR. NOT ANYWHERE ON HIM ................................,-' '-, .-. _ __ | | ,' o ', ` )`'-,`\ .-''``.-' | | THE STROKES ARE FILED SEPARATELY, FIG. 2b ............,' ', _.' `'--._.' ,-' / | | / o \ '--'` .' | | COLD RAISES SMALL PIMPLES ON IT ................../ \ .--. .--. (` | | ; o ; / '.' \ '. | | ,' ', \ 0 | 0 / '. | | / \ '._.---._.' _ \ | | ( .---------. .---------. ) ( ) .-'` \ | | EYES LARGE. WET. USELESS AFTER DARK ..........| | .---. | | .---. | | . `-,-` . ._'---. \ | | ( | / \o/ \ | | / \o/ \ | ) . | . `'- | | | | '.___.' | | '.___.' | | . ' /;\ ' . ,_\ | | .----------------------------------------. ; '---------' '---------' ; '-..-`( ' )`-..-' / | | | FIG. 4 GROOMING. THE MOUTH IS DRY. | | | '-' _.' | | | _______ | ; ,-------. ; jgs '-..,__ __,..-' | | | _____ |.-----.| | | / \ | `'---'` | | | /.---.\ || || | ; | ,-. ,-. | ; | | | ||0.0|| ||_____|| | | \ '-' '-' / | she has been here the whole time. | | | || || |-_---_-| | \ '-.,___,.-' / he has not once looked up. | | | || || =| |=| |= | \ ._,-~~~~~~~~~~~~~-,_. .:;/ | | | || || !!! !!! | '. '-.,_____________,.-' .::;,' | | | || || _..---. | '-, `'''` .::;;;;;;,-' | | | _||___.---.____.-" _...__) | '-., .::;;;;;;;;;;,.-' | | | (______| |_____.-' / | '~-.,, .::;;;;;;;;%%%%;;,,-~' | | | \ |___| | jgs | ''~~--,,_________,,--~~'' | | | | !!!!! | | | | | | \_.__ __._/ | | | | | SALIVA, ONE HOUR: 0.0 ml. HE FILLS A | ,-' '-, | | | TANK OF WATER AND SITS IN IT INSTEAD. | ,-~' '~-, | | '----------------------------------------' _,-~' .::;;;;;;;;%%%%%%%%;;;;;;;;;;'~-,_ | | MEOWS HARSHLY. FIG. 5, UPPER TRACE __,,-~' .::::;;;;;;;;%%%%%%%%;;;;;;;;%%%%;;;;;;;'~-,,__ | | __,,--~~' ,-~~~~-, ,-~~~~-,.:::::;;;;;;;;%%%%%%%%;;;;;;;;;;'~~--,,__ | | __,,--~~'' | | | |.::::::;;;;;;;;%%%%%%%%;;;;;;;;%%%%;;;;''~~--,,__ | | __________________________________________________| |______| |________________________________________________________________________________________________ | | / . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , | | , .| |, . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . , . / | | / .-------------------------------------------. _.-._ _.-._ .------------------------------------------------------------------------------. / || | |/ | ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ | _| | | | | | | |_ | FIG. 2b THE STROKES. RECOVERED FROM THE PILLOW AND THE DRAIN. | / || | | | ~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ | | | | | | | | | | | | | / / / / / | / / / / \ | / / / / / / / / | / || | | | ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ | | | | | | | | | | | | \ | / / / / / \ | / / / \ \ | / / / | / / / / | / || | | | ~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ | | _.-' | _ _ | '-._ | | NOT ONE OF THEM WAS STILL ATTACHED TO HIM. | / || | | | ~ ~~~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~ | ;_.-'.-'/`/ \`\`-.'-._; '------------------------------------------------------------------------------' / || | | | ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~ | | ' / \ ' | ___________________________________.--------. / || | | | ~ ~ ~~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ | \ '. / \ .` / _.--'\\ \ \ (__________`;.__ / || | | | ~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~~~ | | | jgs | | <) || | | |__) / || | | '---------------------------------------.,--' '----'--------'----' `'--.//_________________/_/_____________.' jgs / || | | THE WHITE SHEET. HE SCRATCHES ON IT. '-. THE PAWS. FIVE DIGITS. |'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'| / || | | THE MARKS DO NOT FEED HIM. '-. NO CLAW GROWS IN THEM. |___1___2___3___4___5___6___7___8___9__10__11__12__13__14__15_| / || | | HE MAKES THEM ANYWAY, EVERY NIGHT. '-. IT IS CARRIED LOOSE. --> FIG. 5 THE CLAW. ONE ONLY. BLACK. SHARP. IT COMES OUT OF HIM. / || | | ______________________________________________________'-._____________________________________________________________________________________/ || | | |----------------------------------------------------------'-.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------;;-' || | | || || | || |==|| || | || |==|| || '-.|| |==|| || | || |==|| || | || |==|| || || || || | | || || |==||==| || || |==||==| || || '-.=| || || |==||==| || || |==||==| || || || || || | | ||jgs |/ / / / / || / / / / || '-/ / / / || / / / / || / / / / || |/ || | | || (__/ (__/ || (__/ (__/ || (__/ (__/ || (__/ (__/ || (__/ (__/ || || | +============================================================================================================================================================================+ | .-----------------------------------------------------------------. .--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | FIG. 2a INTEGUMENT, DORSAL, x40. DRY. WARM. UNPROTECTED. | | FIG. 3 THE GULLET, IN SECTION. NO REFUSAL HAS EVER BEEN RECORDED. | | | | _.-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-._ | | | | | | ,-~ . , . , . , . ~-, FILAMENT COUNT | | /\ /\ /\ /| _ .-""```""-. ,,;;;;;,, | | | | ,' , . , . , . , . , `. IN THIS FIELD: | | || || || || / \ .-""-. /'-._____.-'\ ,;;:::::::;;, | | | | / . , . , . , . , . , .\ 0 | | || || || || \_/ /,_...._\ ; ; ,;;::' , ':::;, | | | | ; , . , . o , . , . , . ; | | |\_||_||_/| | | '----' | | __...__ | ;;:: /( ::;; | | | | | . , . , . , . , . , . | PIMPLES RAISED | | | | | \ / |.-' ~ '-.| ';;::.\c/.::;;' | | | | ; , . , . , . o , . , . ; BY COLD AIR: MANY | | \ / | '.____.' |::-.__ __.-'| ';| |;' | | | | \ . , . , . , . , . , ./ | | | | | || ;::::. ; | | | | | | `. , . , . , . , . , .' HE COVERS HIMSELF | | | | | || \:::. / | | | | | | `-._ , . , . , . , _.-' IN CLOTH INSTEAD. | | \ / '. .' ':::. .' | | | | | | `~-.,,__________,,.-~` IT IS NOT THE SAME. | | '..' '-.__.-' `-:.._.-' '-' | | | | | | \ | | | | | | | .- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -. | | _______\____________ | _________________________|_______________|____________ | | | | : A CAT'S BACK, SAME MAGNIFICATION, FOR COMPARISON: : | | ( .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' .-' `-. | | | | : /////////////////////////////////////////////////// : | | \___________________________________________________________________________.-' | | | | : /////////////////////////////////////////////////// : | | "WHAT ARE YOU EATING? GIVE ME SOME." <-- interjected, twice, daily. | | | | '- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ' | | GREAT STRENGTH IS ATTRIBUTED TO GREAT EATING. HE EATS. HE IS STRONG. | | | '-----------------------------------------------------------------' '--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------' | +============================================================================================================================================================================+ | .-------------------------------------------------------------. .-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------. | | | FIG. 5 PHONATION. TWO STATES. ONE ORGAN. THE WRONG ORDER. | | FIG. 6 FACULTIES SOUGHT AND NOT FOUND. EACH WINDOW WATCHED ONE WHOLE WINTER. | | | | | | .-----------. .-----------. .-----------. .-----------. .-----------. | | | | AWAKE |\/\|/\|\/|\/\/|\|/\/\|\/|\/\|/\|\/\/|\|/\/|\/\|\/| | | |###########| | | | /______\ | | . . . | | ---------| | | | | harsh. loud. addressed to no cat in the room. | | |###########| | | | (~ () ~) | | . . | | ---------| | | | | | | |####.######| | . | | \ '-==-' /| | . ,-. | | ---------| | | | | ASLEEP __/~~~\__/~~~~~\__/~~~\__/~~~~~\__/~~~\__/~~~~~\__ | | |###########| | | | '.___.' | | . ( ) | | ---------| | | | | soft. correct. entirely wasted on the ceiling. | | |###########| | | | | | . '-' | | ---------| | | | | | | '-----------' '-----------' '-----------' '-----------' '-----------' | | | | , , CONTROL SPECIMEN. ASLEEP. PURRING | | CANNOT SEE NO PLEASURE EYES SHUT AT NEVER DREAMS NEVER SINGS | | | | |\."./| CORRECTLY. AS IS PROPER. AT ALL | | IN THE DARK OF ANY KIND NIGHT, WHEN OF HUNTING SONGS OF LOVE | | | | / \ HOURS, AWAKE OR OTHERWISE. | | jgs THE DARK IS (STAVE EMPTY) __ __ | | | | / _ _ \ ______ | | ALIVE (( (__)---(__) ))| | | | \== Y ==/"'` `. | | NOTHING WAS FOUND IN ANY WINDOW. THE WINDOWS ARE NOT //. '|' .\\ | | | | /`-._^_.-'\ ,- . \ | | FAULTY. THEY WERE CHECKED AGAINST THE OBSERVER, ||_ | _|| | | | | / ` \ / \ \ | | WHO HAS ALL FIVE. ||. 7 .|| | | | | \ \.___./ /_ _\ / / | | HE SLEEPS BY NIGHT. \\ '/. ' // | | | | jgs `, \ / ,' (,-----' / | | THE HOURS ARE WASTED. jgs '-:---:-' | | | | ""' '"" '------' | | /_______\ | | | '-------------------------------------------------------------' '-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------' | +============================================================================================================================================================================+ | | | FIG. 7 HOW HE MADE HIMSELF MASTER OF THE ROOMS. | | FIG. 1 THE SUBJECT ......................., \ | / HE WAS ALREADY MASTER WHEN I | | FIG. 2a THE SKIN ..........................; _ _ _ _ _ ___ _ _____ ___ _ '-. _,-~~~~~-,_ .-' ARRIVED. THE ROOMS WERE ALREADY | | FIG. 2b THE STROKES ......................., | | | | \| | |/ / \| |/ _ \ \ / / \| | -----( )----- HIS. HE KEEPS THEM CLEAN FOR ME, | | FIG. 3 THE GULLET ........................; | |_| | .` | ' <| .` | (_) \ \/\/ /| .` | .-' '-.,_____,.-' '-. WHICH IS THE CORRECT ARRANGEMENT | | FIG. 5 THE VOICE .........................' \___/|_|\_|_|\_\_|\_|\___/ \_/\_/ |_|\_| / | \ AND NO EXPLANATION OF IT EXISTS. | | FIG. 6 THE ABSENCES ......................, \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ ( ' ) | | ............................................' \, \, \, \, \, \, \, \, \, \, \, \ / PERHAPS HE ATE SOMETHING | | _/\__/\_/\__/\/\_/\__/\/\__/\_/\/\__/\_/\/\_/\_ V SUBLIME. IT IS THE ONLY THING | | THAT FITS. IT IS NOT AN ANSWER. | | wib&wob | +---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'---'+
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